On the rare occasion we win a match I trawl through forums of the opposition to see what their reaction was to a defeat by Bolton. It's rarely pretty.

I think Trevor reckons we're crap:

Sir Trevor Francis wrote: This will be easy, Bolton are crap. Crap team, crap fans, crap ground, crap paddy manager. Crap everything. 

CareBare is looking forward to League 1....

CareBare79 wrote: Bolton haven’t won a game this season have they? I know our home form is terrible but if we can’t beat this shower at St Andrews then we deserve to be in League 1.

King Kevin is talking about you Scott!

King Kevin wrote: Just seen some Bolton fans walking to the ground f***king knuckle draggers the lot of em

ArseyAnya wasn't wrong:

ArseyAnya wrote: A week ago I’d have fancied 3 points with Dougie Freedman in charge of Bolton. But I fear Neil Lennon’s attitude will have a positive effect on Bolton and they will be too committed for us. Hope I’m wrong.

We've all been there. Your team is crap and the only way to get rid of the manager is to lose.

Clarky's Army98 wrote: Bog off Clark, why don’t the Birmingham board take a leaf out of Bolton's book and get rid of the tool in charge. I hope we get battered

I think something bad happened to Keith when he last visited Bolton.

KeithRodder wrote: I want to beat Bolton with every bone in my body. I hate everything about the crappy town. The people, the place, the f**king name even. COME ON YOU BLUES!!

Jermaine's reputation precedes him:

The Watcher wrote: I hope Jermaine “I need 10 open goals to score once” Beckford is playing.

So did I to be honest

KatySpank wrote: I love Bolton, they rolled over on the last day last season to keep us up. I expect the same again today.

The word you are looking for JimJam is "ponces".

JimJam67 wrote: I really hate the way the media portrays Bolton as having spirit and guts when in reality they are the most spineless team in the championship

Before the game a bore-draw would have been progress!

Legend9000 wrote: Beckford on his own up top, Bolton coming for a bore-draw.

The game kicks off and the locals are confident:

"We’re all over these, only a matter of time."
"Lonergan keeping Bolton in it. "
"Are we turning a corner?KILL KILL KILL KILL"
"This is good stuff for a change, we’re walking through their midfield."
"Gonna win this 4-0"
"Need to score while we’re on top or the inevitable will happen – we go a goal behind"

The inevitable does happen and Matt Mills puts Bolton in front. The Birmingham internet goes into meltdown:

"I’m currently making some concrete boots for Lee Clark"

To continue reading this article, as well as seeing it in its unedited form, (with a bit of adult language) visit the Nuts forum -

Direct link to articles is here http://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk
Author: Natasha Whittam

Always available on Bolton Nuts fans forum - the latest Bolton highlights - in fact, the best highlights from every single Wanderers game this season!

Latest highlights video BIRMINGHAM 0 - 1 BOLTON (full extended highlights will be posted tomorrow)!
Click HERE if link doesn't work.

Freedom means the opportunity to be what we never thought we would be.
Daniel J. Boorstin

Friday, October 3, 2014 marked another remarkable day in the life of the Bolton Wanderers fan. Despite words of defiance after our latest defeat, Bolton Wanderers and Douglas Freedman parted ways - none too soon for the average fan. Indeed, Bolton Wanderers find themselves firmly rooted to the foot of the table and a 4-0 thumping at the hands of fellow strugglers Fulham proved a step too far for club owner Eddie Davies.

If Dougie Freedman is totally honest, he may well have breathed a sigh of relief at having what can be viewed as a poisoned chalice, removed from his hands. Stories have surfaced of resistance from players at the disciplined and rigid approach taken by Freedman and some former players have even taken to social media to express their delight at his departure. Jay Lynch is one such player who has been quoted as saying of Freedman "So glad to see the back of him at BWFC... killed the atmosphere around the place, drained the life out of squad, neglected the young talent coming through etc!"

While it is unfortunate, he is only one of a number of former Bolton players who have either come out and been quite vocal about his methods or hinted darkly about comments to follow, as in the case of former Freedman favourite, Chris Eagles. Freedman himself famously said the job was harder than he thought it would have been and went so far as to suggest that the players at hand were not up to the task of pulling the club out of danger.

The strain was clearly beginning to show on young Douglas and the circumstances under which he was asked to operate would have proved a challenge for an older and wiser campaigner than he is. Since the mutual separation, a number of these so-called "older and wiser campaigners" have thrown their hat into the ring for the vacant manager's position. Names such as Billy Davies, Tony Mowbray, Malky Mackay and Phil Brown have all been bandied about, with Brown the huge favourite. My personal priority, if I were Eddie Davies, would be to take a closer look at the selection panel. 

Few would argue that those that have followed Big Sam in the hot seat at the Wanderers have not exactly covered themselves in glory. In fact, none of these gentlemen are managing football teams at present - which is an alarming statistic. This suggests a failing in the selection panel that has become almost par for the course and must certainly have caught the attention of Mr. Davies, by now. The buck stops squarely at the feet of the Chairman Mr. Gartside and he most certainly should not be allowed another failure of a managerial selection without it qualifying as Hara-Kiri.

As for Douglas Freedman, I have every confidence in his ability to come back from this experience a better manager. In the interim, however, he may be best served by asking Jay Spearing for a reference for a holiday spot in Ibiza. After all, Dougie's been freed, man.

Author: Keegan

It stinks to high heaven, it's crumbling away as we speak, people don't want to see it, and if it's going anywhere at all, it's going down the pan!

No, I'm not talking about Bolton Wanderers Football Club - I'm talking, of course, about the Half Eaten Hamburger.

One way or another It's been a record-breaking couple of years at the Reebok/Macron Stadium and as October rolls around we reach another milestone in the history of this magnificent sporting arena.

Perched precariously on a ledge above the urinal in the men's toilets, East Stand Upper, among the discarded Golden Gamble tickets and betting slips, the Half Eaten Hamburger celebrates a full twelve months in situ.

It's become a familiar sight to countless Bolton fans who shuffle wearily towards the urinals, unbutton themselves, stare blankly ahead and contemplate the shortcomings of their team or even suicide.

Thankfully, their spirits are immediately lifted as they catch sight of the Half Eaten Hamburger. In a frightening world where tactics change constantly and team line-ups are bewilderingly unpredictable it comes as a relief to see a familiar sight and know that some things will always, mercifully, remain the same.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HALF EATEN HAMBURGER, AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE!

Said club spokesman Sid Rapelight:

"I'm not lying when I say I'd like to wish the Half Eaten Hamburger a very Happy Birthday. Re-heated snacks come and go but the Half Eaten Hamburger stands like a beacon in a sea of confusion and uncertainty.

Nat Lofthouse would be honoured to know that the stand bearing his name was home to such a faithful servant of the club. In fact we've already commissioned a bronze statue of the Half Eaten Hamburger which will be situated alongside Nat 's at the entrance to the stadium.

At this special time I would particularly like to pay tribute to our maintenance staff.  I can proudly say that we take as much care in choosing our cleaners as we do in choosing our team manager, that's how seriously we take it.

We're also planning to bestow "legend" status on the Half Eaten Hamburger by creating a mural of it on the wall above the urinals. Naturally, in doing this we'll be needing to paint round it.

I hope, in fact I'm certain, that the Half Eaten Hamburger will be around for many more years to come."

The board are believed to be contacting The Guinness Book Of Half Eaten Records for some kind of official recognition.

Legendary folk combo, The Howfen Heavers, were so moved to hear about the Half Eaten Hamburger's special day they've decided to re-form and they'll be bringing out a new single* by way of a tribute. According to washboard player Sal Monella, 83, for every record sold the band will be making a donation to the International Society For The Prevention Of Bubonic Plague (Horwich & Lostock Division).

*THE BALLAD OF THE HALF EATEN HAMBURGER

The ref blows half time, I head for a p***.
I get to the bogs and f*** me, what's this?
Am I going mental or is it still here -
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

It's been there a year
It's been there a year
It's f-ing disgusting
It's been there a year

It's in front of your eyes when you go for a slash
With lottery tickets and other such trash.
They're not arsed to move it, it's perfectly clear
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

The first time I saw it I had to look twice,
It was covered in fluff and a few pubic lice.
The outbreak of plague is a genuine fear.
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

If Dougie could see it, he'd be filled with emotion:
"That burger's dead meat, like our chance of promotion."
Like the team it's just awful, too rotten to cheer,
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

Repeat chorus Ad Nauseam

Copyright: E. Coli, 2014

Author: Numpty 28733

It stinks to high heaven, it's crumbling away as we speak, people don't want to see it, and if it's going anywhere at all, it's going down the pan!

No, I'm not talking about Bolton Wanderers Football Club - I'm talking, of course, about the Half Eaten Hamburger.

One way or another It's been a record-breaking couple of years at the Reebok/Macron Stadium and as October rolls around we reach another milestone in the history of this magnificent sporting arena.

Perched precariously on a ledge above the urinal in the men's toilets, East Stand Upper, among the discarded Golden Gamble tickets and betting slips, the Half Eaten Hamburger celebrates a full twelve months in situ.

It's become a familiar sight to countless Bolton fans who shuffle wearily towards the urinals, unbutton themselves, stare blankly ahead and contemplate the shortcomings of their team or even suicide.

Thankfully, their spirits are immediately lifted as they catch sight of the Half Eaten Hamburger. In a frightening world where tactics change constantly and team line-ups are bewilderingly unpredictable it comes as a relief to see a familiar sight and know that some things will always, mercifully, remain the same.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HALF EATEN HAMBURGER, AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE!

Said club spokesman Sid Rapelight:

"I'm not lying when I say I'd like to wish the Half Eaten Hamburger a very Happy Birthday. Re-heated snacks come and go but the Half Eaten Hamburger stands like a beacon in a sea of confusion and uncertainty.

Nat Lofthouse would be honoured to know that the stand bearing his name was home to such a faithful servant of the club. In fact we've already commissioned a bronze statue of the Half Eaten Hamburger which will be situated alongside Nat 's at the entrance to the stadium.

At this special time I would particularly like to pay tribute to our maintenance staff.  I can proudly say that we take as much care in choosing our cleaners as we do in choosing our team manager, that's how seriously we take it.

We're also planning to bestow "legend" status on the Half Eaten Hamburger by creating a mural of it on the wall above the urinals. Naturally, in doing this we'll be needing to paint round it.

I hope, in fact I'm certain, that the Half Eaten Hamburger will be around for many more years to come."

The board are believed to be contacting The Guinness Book Of Half Eaten Records for some kind of official recognition.

Legendary folk combo, The Howfen Heavers, were so moved to hear about the Half Eaten Hamburger's special day they've decided to re-form and they'll be bringing out a new single* by way of a tribute. According to washboard player Sal Monella, 83, for every record sold the band will be making a donation to the International Society For The Prevention Of Bubonic Plague (Horwich & Lostock Division).

*THE BALLAD OF THE HALF EATEN HAMBURGER

The ref blows half time, I head for a p***.
I get to the bogs and f*** me, what's this?
Am I going mental or is it still here -
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

It's been there a year
It's been there a year
It's f-ing disgusting
It's been there a year

It's in front of your eyes when you go for a slash
With lottery tickets and other such trash.
They're not arsed to move it, it's perfectly clear
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

The first time I saw it I had to look twice,
It was covered in fluff and a few pubic lice.
The outbreak of plague is a genuine fear.
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

If Dougie could see it, he'd be filled with emotion:
"That burger's dead meat, like our chance of promotion."
Like the team it's just awful, too rotten to cheer,
That half-eaten hamburger's been there a year.

Repeat chorus Ad Nauseam

Copyright: E. Coli, 2014
Author: Numpty 28733